Is Craving Alone Time Weird? Let’s Unpack the Truth

Absolutely not! Far from being weird, craving alone time is a perfectly natural and healthy desire.

Furthermore, alone time is not an option for me—it’s an essential lifeline. I need it often, daily.

Why is that?

Face it—we all encounter people who open their verbal floodgates from time to time, seemingly draining us of our body’s life support.

Maybe you have a spouse or partner who overindulges in conversation at the most inopportune time, or you’re just pooped out from a long day at work or taking care of the kids, grandkids, or pets.

Or you’re retired, and you and your partner are on a daily collision course in the kitchen or, worse, in the bathroom down the hall.

Perhaps you get a daily phone call from a ‘needy’ friend who doesn’t respect your space and unleashes the day’s drama on you.

But all this is just the tip of the iceberg. There’s much more to it than that.

Our phones are ringing, texts are popping up, errands need running, and appointments need attending.

And at day’s end, when we finally collapse into that overstuffed chair, “What’s for dinner?”

Okay, let’s take a break here!

Alone time serves as space to become lost in thought, breathe, relax, create, plan, get in touch with our spiritual side, and not listen to all the noise. It allows us to escape the sea of vampires.

We need time alone (me time) regardless of whether our day is running smoothly or, heaven forbid, as described above.

Time alone is a choice aimed at personal growth, not a result of social isolation.

And be honest, we don’t need a perpetual shadow. We already own one.

Let’s take a look at some misconceptions about spending time alone.

Misunderstanding About Alone Time

Taking time for yourself doesn’t constitute ghosting society or that you don’t like being around people. You don’t want to be around them all the time.

Alone Time Equals Feeling Lonely: Choosing your own company for a while isn’t the same as feeling lonely. You need time and space for soul-searching or just catching your breath. Loneliness? You can be in the middle of a room full of people and still feel lonely, depending on the party of people.

I kind of like my own company!

Not Just for the Introverts: Yes, introverts and their love for quiet time are like peanut butter and jelly. But extroverts can also benefit from dimming their social battery for moments of peace and creativity.

Unproductive Time? Think Again: Some people think time spent alone is wasted, but I believe the opposite. Alone time or those quiet moments with just your thoughts can spark some of the best ideas and give your brain a much-needed breather.

You’re Antisocial! Preferring some lounge time over a party doesn’t mean you’re antisocial. Sometimes, you must take a step back to recharge.

Selfish? Unequivocally No: There’s this weird idea floating around that taking time for yourself is self-centered, especially if you’re a caregiver, mother, or have a spouse or partner. But here’s the thing— carving out some alone time keeps your brain health and mind in check, making you a better friend, partner, or parent in the long run.

Solo Time Equals Stagnation? A Big No: The myth that you can only grow around others is just that—a myth. Some of the most eye-opening moments and epiphanies come when you’re by yourself, mulling over life or just being.

So, the next time you hear someone misconstruing alone-time facts, you will feel confident in your decision to take time for yourself guilt-free. Because let’s face it, a little alone time can be the secret ingredient to keeping your sanity.

The Benefits of Alone Time

Mindfulness and Focus

Do you notice how you get more done when you’re by yourself? That’s because you can keep a train of thought. It’s just you, your thoughts, and the task before you—no interruptions!

This is when your thought pattern is in high gear, creativity starts flowing, and everything comes together. Problems that were overwhelming yesterday seem to melt.

Emotional Benefits

When it’s just you and your thoughts, you get the chance to sit with your emotions, sort them out, and understand why you’re feeling what you’re feeling. It’s like being your own therapist without the couch. This alone time can make you emotionally more robust and more in tune with your inner self.

“I’m trudging through a long, narrow tunnel with no end. Wandering on and on, my space becomes smaller and smaller, and the light becomes dimmer and dimmer. It’s a suffocating space. Every step is identical to the last. Survival is now my purpose. This is who I become if I neglect taking time for myself.”

Physical Benefits

Stress? You need less! Doing your own thing, especially if it makes you smile and feel like dancing, dials down the stress. Your blood pressure drops, your heart takes a breather, and your body says thank you. It’s also good for your mind and a win for your health.

Unleashing Your Inner Creative Genius

Here’s where it gets interesting. Have you ever heard of Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi and his writings on “flow”? It’s a state where you’re so into what you’re doing that everything else fades away. Mihaly is onto something because creativity goes over the moon when you hit that sweet spot.

And guess what? You usually find this magical flow state when living entirely in the moment and 100% present.

Csikszentmihalyi wrote an entire book about it, drilling deep into how being alone can spark creativity, boost productivity, and make you feel satisfied with what you’re doing. While he talks a lot about brain benefits, this flow state is also a stress-reducer, like a “buy one get one free.”

How to Embrace Time Alone

Finding peace and growth in solitude isn’t just nice to have; it’s essential for your wellbeing. Here’s how to cherish and optimize your alone time:

Mark It on Your Calendar: Treat your alone time with the importance of any other appointment. Choose specific times during your week that are just for you. This commitment helps you honor this time, even when life gets hectic.

What Feeds Your Soul: What makes your heart sing? Whether it’s immersing yourself in a captivating book, expressing yourself through art or writing, enjoying the tranquility of nature, or finding peace in meditation, choose pursuits that rejuvenate you.

“Dancing and music light up my soul. I love my first steaming hot cup of coffee when the birds sing in the morning, the aroma of lilacs permeating the morning breeze, and walking in the evening when the sun begins to hide behind the trees. And I love books. I love the simple things.”

Define Your Purpose: Before sinking into your alone time, take a moment to reflect on what you wish to accomplish. Is it relaxation, a burst of creativity, or mental clarity? Having a clear purpose can shape your solitude into a satisfying experience.

For me, spending time with myself means doing whatever comes next. Spontaneity is my only mission. Tedium becomes nonexistent. Clarity stares back at me as if never leaving. I’m enthusiastic and free. My purpose is being. I love this space!

Welcome the Quiet: Productivity isn’t just about checking off must-dos. True productivity can also mean permitting yourself to simply be. Resting and embracing stillness can profoundly refresh your mind and body.

By intentionally planning and treasuring this personal time, you’ll unlock the vast rewards of your well-deserved time alone and realize a deeper, more harmonious life.

Overcoming Challenges

Dealing with Guilt: It’s easy to feel selfish when you carve out time for yourself. But taking care of yourself isn’t just okay; it’s crucial. Think about the airplane safety demo. You’re told to secure your own oxygen mask before helping others. Why? Because you can’t pour from an empty cup. Caring for your wellbeing means you’re better positioned to care for those you love.

Tackling FOMO: The fear of missing out, especially in our hyper-connected world, is real. But remember, it’s not about how many gatherings you attend but the depth of the connections you forge. Quality trumps quantity every time. Alone time doesn’t push you away from others; it brings you back to them more grounded and whole.

Pushing Back Against the Hustle: We live in a world that celebrates busyness as if it’s a medal of honor. But it’s okay to step off the treadmill. Set clear boundaries and communicate why you need this space for yourself. Those who matter will not only understand but respect your choice. By standing firm in your need for solitude, you affirm its value—not just for you, but as a practice that enriches your engagement with the world.

Balancing Time Alone with Social Life

Choosing Depth Over Breadth: It’s not how many people you see in a week but the richness of those interactions. Cultivate deep, meaningful connections. These are the ones that refill your tank, not deplete it.

Open Communication: Let your circle know why alone time is vital for you. You’re not trying to distance yourself but recharge your batteries to be fully present when you’re with them. Transparency builds understanding and respect.

Intentional Socializing: Be thoughtful about how you plan your social life. Ensure there’s breathing room between engagements for solitude. This way, you don’t stretch yourself too thin and can bring your best self to each interaction.

Listening to Yourself: Pay attention to your energy levels. It’s perfectly fine to say no if you’re not up to it. Genuine connections will remain strong, even if you need to step back now and then.

Blending Solitude and Socializing: Look for ways to merge quiet reflection with being around others. Walks or yoga with a friend can be a great example—you’re together, yet each in your own reflective space.

You create a balanced, satisfying, and richly connected life by nurturing your need for solitude and social connections.

The Bottom Line

If you need to get away for an hour, a day, a week, or more, do it. Find a way to do it because it will bring you back.

And what do I mean by “bring you back”?

If you’re not carving out enough time for yourself, you’re not really there to begin with. You’re not thinking clearly. You’re making poor decisions. You’re overwhelmed and hiding out. Give yourself the gift of serenity, and come back!

Additional Nugget

Here is an interesting article on PubMed.Gov. However, you don’t have to wander the wilderness to achieve the same benefits. Just take some real time for yourself.